dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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