Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
