Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Houston, we have a squirter
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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