Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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