If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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