Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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