ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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