It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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