R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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