You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
