I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
