My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
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When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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