The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have already put on my inside pants.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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