Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize