if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
