If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
