wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
