Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
