Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
