he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
