hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
