OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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