We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
