I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
bring money and cleavage
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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