the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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