the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize