guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
