do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
