If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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