When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
