I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize