And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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