...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Non-Jews are for practice
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
