yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
