Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
