How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
