I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
