through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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