my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
