I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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