Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
