When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize