She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
