Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
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I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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