drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
