dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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