help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
