I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
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