So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
