Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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