If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need moral support for this bender
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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