they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
