Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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