Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
