too bad you live with your parents still
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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