If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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