Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
