it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize