No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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