last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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