my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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