Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
